This was deleted off of Helium.com (some Christian probably thought it was inappropriate), but I put it here so you can read it if you want to. This essay was written 9/1/2007 - John K
I am afraid of being asked to leave my church. I lie, sometimes I slander other people, and I'm selfish and fearful. All qualities that can lead to mistrust and misunderstanding in relationships. Whenever the pastor reads a scripture about the wolves among the sheep, the false prophets, or the idolaters or adulterers, I think he might be talking about me. The other day, our pastor talked to me about something I had said about him, and I admitted what I said and apologized, but I felt like that was a "strike" against me. The pastor forgave me, and I believe him, but the feeling sticks.
What Paul tells me is that (Romans 5:20) "The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, (21) so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
So without knowledge of my sin, I'm just another ignorant sinner. But when I become conscious of my shortcomings through my own guilty conscience, I give God an opportunity to save me and make me more righteous than I could ever muster on my own. This makes me humble, and so I go and apologize to the person I lied to, the one I slandered, the one I ignored or cheated out of time or affections.
But the answer is that Christians are just like everyone else. The difference is not in us, it is in Christ. He transforms us by something special that happens, something spiritual about believing in his death and resurrection. It's the kingdom of heaven, expressed in our own bodies, our own minds, and the way we become transparent with one another as we walk together with other believers in true community.
I am not perfect, by any means, but I have been made righteous by grace. Jesus has redeemed my drug and alcohol abuse, my sexual sin, and my financial failure. He is transforming me by the renewing of my mind through therapy and Bible study. And he is using me, both in those transparent moments with other Christians, and in the workaday world where everyone (including me) is watching and waiting for me to fuck up. So they can prove that Christians are not perfect.
I'm the first to admit it.
